Coach Deane's Recruiting Newsletter | April 2025

A Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Recruiting Process

True Nation,

Happy Spring! We’ve long anticipated its arrival and it is finally here, which also means spring lacrosse is back in action. It is exciting to see all of the boys go back and represent their town teams or high school programs. I also hope all of you get a chance to watch some college lacrosse, as the competition has been great so far.

Watching college lacrosse inspired me when I was thinking about what to write for this month’s newsletter. I decided to put together a list of the most important things a parent should remember when navigating the recruiting process.

So, without further ado, I am sharing that list with you here. Many of you are in that process now or preparing to, or perhaps it’s still a few years away. Either way, I hope this provides a framework and reference to put your mind at ease as you enter the recruiting process. Enjoy!

1. Keep your focus on your kid; try not to compare him or her to other kids.

There’s a saying that goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and that is true in plenty of ways, including the recruiting process. Every kid is different, and every player’s recruiting process will be different. It’s difficult with social media and everyone broadcasting everything these days, but try not to get caught up with what is going on in someone else’s recruitment. Stay the course with what you feel is best for your child.

2. Avoid taking too much advice from other parents.

Well-meaning parents will offer their best advice on recruiting. However, their perspective often comes from their experience navigating the recruiting process themselves or from what they’ve heard. While talking and relating with other parents about the process is all good and fine, the best advice will come from your child’s director or coach. They have the experience, knowledge, and understanding of the ins-and-outs of recruiting to offer the best advice to guide you through it.

3. Don’t get too wrapped up in your child’s club team’s win-loss record and rankings.

Coaches are looking for the player who will be the best fit for their program, and that has little to do with how well that player’s club team performed or how highly it is ranked.

4. Find the best fit for your kid.

If it’s D1 or bust for you as a parent, or you want this more than your son or daughter, it’s probably not going to end well for either of you. One or both of you will be unhappy with the result. There are so many programs out there at every division – find the one that is the best fit for your kid.

5. Look for honesty and transparency.

Some people will only tell you what you want to hear. Perhaps there is a time and place for that, but recruiting isn’t one of them. You should want someone to give it to you straight, who will be realistic, honest, and transparent about where your child stands and what his or her options are.

6. Stay off social media!

I said it before and I’ll say it again: stay off social media. This is a tough thing to do in this day and age, especially for kids, but it’s important. There are random people on these platforms who don’t know your child at all but will contact you or your child and try to manipulate you. There are so many great reasons to stay off social media, and very few good ones to stay on it.

7. Your director and coach are your biggest assets in the recruiting process.

When your director or coach has been the person who has spent the last five or six years out on the field with your child, developing him or her each week through practices and trainings, traveling with you and your family to tournaments, and working toward this goal with you since day one, that person is the one who will be able to best speak about your ability and who you are as a person when it comes to recruiting. That person will also ideally have great relationships with college coaches, because they are the ones who will pick up the phone and call coaches to vouch for you.

8. Trying to control the process won’t help the process.

One of the first things a college coach always says to me when we’re discussing a player is, “Tell me about the parents.” He wants to know what you’re like, what kind of parent you are, if you’re the kind who frequently intervenes to fix thingsyou’re your child or allows them to figure things out while offering guidance from behind the scenes. College coaches know they are recruiting the parents as much as they are recruiting the player, and they do their due diligence to find out what they are getting with each player they recruit.

9. Follow development!

Is your child developing as a player? Is he or she developing as an athlete? Getting into the weight room is just as important as training on the field, and both of those are more important than attending tournaments. It doesn’t matter how many tournaments you go to or how many showcases you play in if you haven’t developed as a player or athlete. Make those things the priority.

10. Try to relax and enjoy the process.

This one is easier said than done, I know, but try to enjoy this time in your lives as parents, as players, and as a family. Parents, sit on the sidelines. Watch the games. Enjoy the tournament. Enjoy this time as your child navigates the process. Enjoy the ups and downs of development. Enjoy the highs and lows. Try not to get too caught up in the what-if’s and have-to’s. Just be present and enjoy the now.

These are just a few of my tips as I’ve been part of recruiting for many years now. I hope this helps. Please feel free to reach out anytime. I’m always happy to hear from you or help you or your kids.

Coach Dean